Thursday, August 14, 2014

The Phantom Guru

Writermaza

              

This time I have been inspired by the quotations from the blogs of  EverydayGyan.

  "Even a seemingly tiny story can travel great distances and deeply affect other people. Your story matters let them out to affect other souls..."

I intend to share some inspirational quotations, some fun in a writer's life.


      The Phantom Guru


Can it be possible for a real person to be so like a wraith wondered tiny Arika anxiously as she watched her English teacher Ms.Renee Baruah enter her class. Her fellow sufferers of class eleven, groaned silently, as they watched the skeletal frame settling down on the chair. Who would dare to tell her that this was the period scheduled for the Chemistry class? Anybody daring to state even the most obvious fact would have to suffer a long sermon on discourtesy, indiscipline and insolence, all in a thin high pitched voice.

Piyush often in all innocence (he was one of those, who would rush in where angels dare to tread) would pipe up, “Ma’m it’s our Chemistry period, not yours....”
“You dare to mislead me, I know you are not interested in studies but must you hold up everyone just to satisfy your short-sighted motives,” her eyes flashed fire from behind her rim-less glasses. It looked as if she would disappear in the smoke of her raging fire.
 Sharma sir, their Chemistry teacher paced the corridor restlessly, realizing it was impossible for him to enter just then.
She pursued him relentlessly, “Piyush, ever since you have become the editor of the school magazine, you have begun giving yourself airs. Nobody can better your hold on the language, is it? You think you are the next aspirant for the Booker prize,ah ha,ha...”, she began cackling with laughter, her thin boney frame shaking with mirth.
This last bit was met with titters of laughter, Anubhav a tall well built boy, laughed out loud and long. “So you think you can laugh at me, do you know the meaning of impudence, ah I knew you wouldn’t, you are that,” she ended the tirade triumphantly, noting the solemn faces with satisfaction.
Arika observed the receding, defeated backside of Sharma sir.
“Take out your book,” commanded the screeching voice.
“Which one Ma’m?”, called out Aditi.
 “I told you to get the literature one for today.”
This was met with looks of horrified amazement, as yesterday Renee had ordered them to bring only the book of short stories. The children noted long boney fingers, turning the pages of the book with a determination to find some erring culprit.
The silence was broken by Mukesh, “Ma’m you told us that we will begin Macbeth next month.”
The ghost of Banquo wouldn’t have appalled Macbeth as much. “How dare you challenge me, I know being in class eleven fills you with grandeur, but you must remember, that you have to pass the English exam too, Renee was offended and  horrified to note that the whole class had turned up without the book.
 “Well in that case as you all have decided to be so uncooperative, I will give you a surprise test,” she announced.
This was met with gloomy, “Oh,no, not again,” byRadhika.
“Radhika you have not given a single test yet,” shrieked the ‘Skeletor’as the students had named her. She would appear best in the biology laboratory, along with other bits of life form preserved in formaldehyde, thought Arika rather than making our lives miserable by her failing memory and caustic manners. Her being unmarried added to their woes.
         


 She just didn’t or couldn’t cope with young children. Renee lived with her younger brother’s family, she disliked her healthy and robust Bhabhi and the fat podgy nieces and nephew made her look like a grim, unhappy spook. Her family had tried very hard to entice unsuspecting men into marrying her, but one look into those bulging, stern eyes, accompanied with a thin straight line for a mouth, made the bravest of them quail. Such rejections had added to her bitterness. However, she was glad that the recent trends of models, and wannabe Miss Indias, had all begun resembling her. Some of the presenters of TV programs were bonier and thinner than her,(if that were possible).She wished she had been born three decades later, then maybe these foolish men would have been chasing her instead of  fleeing. Although, her Bhabi hoped that someday, someone might just transform her. Maybe what happened later was an answer to her strong, silent prayers. 
    “Ma,m,I have given all the four tests you have taken so far,” protested the tall slim girl.
“I have given you a zero, zero, zero and a zero,” came the spiteful reply.
 “Ma’m here are the test papers, Radhika flourished the pages jubilantly. Ma’m I got seven, eight and a half and nine, and nine,” she crowed.
“Let’s see,” called the teacher disbelievingly. Just then the gong sounded, announcing the end of the class. The class heaved a sigh of relief, Sharma sir entered with a confidence of now getting back his flock. They were all in for a disappointment, “This is my class,Sharmaji,came the stern statement. How can you just walk in like this?”
 “But, but...the last period which you took was mine.”
 “You were not there on time and so I took them, now please go as I have given them a test,” she dismissed Sharmaji with a casual gesture of her hands.
The students all sympathised with the trampled-down Sharma sir as he departed unwillingly.
    Ayush staring at the ceiling for inspiration for the essay, felt that if he ever met Renee Ma’m at the dead of night on a deserted road, he wouldn’t be blamed for taking her for a ghoul. Probably, ghosts would be terrified of her as well.
“Ah, I see you don’t intend writing this test too, called out there ever vigilant teacher. Ayush do you think you will be allowed to enter class twelve with this attitude?”
 “Ma’m, you haven’t returned any one of my test papers, so far, replied the alarmed boy.
“Ma’m you told me they were mixed up with science papers.”Ayush was the picture of injured innocence. He had suffered her before, she had been his class teacher in ninth and he was familiar with her memory lapses.
 “Now that you reminded me, you can check this bag maybe, you will find your old papers here,” Renee waved a round, fat, bulging bag in his direction.
  Searching through the papers, Smita was astonished to find test papers dated several years past.
 “Thank your stars, she doesn’t examine board papers, or you would have found some unfortunate candidate’s answer sheets also,” commented Ankush.
“She just seems to grow more senile with each passing year. More like a vengeful spirit,” added Smita.
 She recollected the time when Renee asked them, “Raise your hands, all those who have brought Macbeth.”
 Some children raised both their hands in enthusiasm, that brought on her ire, “Now you can keep them raised for the rest of the class.”
 The young teenagers were perplexed, one thin, frail looking girl Misha began, “Ma’m my wrist has a hairline fracture, I can’t keep it raised.”
“Well then, raise your legs.”
 The poor child had to plead and ask pardon for an offence she never did, to mollify this ‘Skeletor’.
  Of late, Renee had a feeling that somebody was rifling through her papers. Must be Chinoo, her fat tubby nephew. Though her nieces and nephew normally steered clear of her room, she would not spare them an occasional slap as and when required, which had them reeling and fleeing to their mother in fear. Bhabhi remained silent as any showdown would have her husband take up cudgels on behalf of his poor unmarried sister. So she resorted to fervent prayers, to release her from this peril.

Every paper she corrected, Renee normally, used a red pen to boldly strike out the mistakes, writing long notes, indicating how the student could possibly improve. Her writing was tall, thin and just as dry and peppery as her. Some papers from a pile she had not begun correcting, had been checked by someone with a very loopy and scrawling hand. Could it be Bhabi? But she was a science graduate with very little knowledge of English, besides she wouldn’t dare to do such a thing. Furthermore this was definitely not Bhabhi’s handwriting. Then who could it be?
           

  
 As Renee entered her room, which was a self-sufficient, one bed room and study , on the top floor of the house, she saw to her horror, a huge fat woman sitting quite comfortably on her study table, deeply engrossed in her ( Renee’s) papers. Huge waves of anger carried Renee to the intruder, but as she reached near her, that woman had vanished! Renee took off her spectacles and rubbed her eyes, had she begun seeing things? A closer examination revealed the same loopy, spidery scrawl at the end of each test paper. What impudence, how dare she, that woman wouldn’t have gone too far, I will catch her by her throat and tell her what it means to break into my room. Renee rushed down the stairs squawking at the top of her voice, she had a jumbled incoherent recollection of what happened next. Chinoo watched with fascinated horror his ‘Bhootni Bua’ just rush down the stairs in a tangle of arms and legs arriving at the bottom in a breathless heap. He had a distinct glimpse of some woman standing on the top steps, who had given his Bua a push.
    The old grim doctor forbade all movement for an initial period of six days. Chinoo observed that his otherwise bullheaded Bua give in like a Ba-lamb. Something had surely shaken her quite badly, however, at the suggestion that she shift downstairs in the guest room, till she could move around, brought out all her mulishness. Chinoo’s mother had a look of long suffering defeat written all over her face. It meant twice as much work for her now, just running up and down the stairs an average of at least twenty times daily. She wished she could escape her responsibilities by twisting her ankles, and lying in bed too.
    Again that woman was sitting on her chair, immersed in correcting the exam papers, Renee made an effort to raise that walking stick threateningly towards her, “Hey, what do you think you are doing, messing around with my papers.”
Slowly, she turned around, a genial, intelligent face, black and white hair tied loosely round the nape of the neck. A small flower printed long frock, like those worn by women of a bygone era.
 She waved her arms up and down, “I was only trying to be helpful, you have not finished correction of even last year’s exam papers,” she ended accusingly.
 “I must have misplaced them,” Renee was on the defensive.
“How can you be so careless, they were in the bottom drawer, stuffed amongst old school magazines, pens, and what-have-yous?”
Chinoo entering the room with a tray loaded with tempting mouth-watering food, found a friendly Bua who insisted that, he sit beside her while she finished lunch. Chinoo was uncomfortable, he wandered to the study table, and was surprised to feel a sudden shivering sense of dread, he just picked up the empty tray and ran for his dear life.
  There ‘she’ was quite comfortably, tucking away her feet and settling down snugly on the chair, “Lord, what fools these, mortals be!”
Renee was startled to hear ‘her’ quoting from Shakespeare’s ‘A Midsummer-Night’s dream’.  “Act III,scene 2” completed the uninvited guest, reading her mind.
“Ah ,so you are fond of Shakespeare,” sneered Renee.
 “Mend your speech a little, Lest you mar your fortunes, King Lear, Act IV, scene 5,” came the angry reply.
“In my times tales from Shakespeare were included in the text from class five onwards, culminating in an intensive study of his main tragedies, in the higher classes ,added Renee in a mollifying tone. Now of course he has been virtually pushed out of the syllabus.”
 It was a humbling experience for her to find someone from way beyond the past, quoting so fluently, here she was unable to even remember what she had taught in the last class!
“We know what we are, but know not what maybe, Hamlet, Act IV, scene 5”,came the premonitory reply.
A sudden chill descended, which was broken by the abrupt entry of her three-year old niece, Chin-chin, (she was the proud owner of several chins).
 “Bua, come-come,” she lisped,tugging at Renee’s arm. Renee hobbled down, sheer panic making her forget her pain temporarily. Did she hear ‘The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and ill together. All’s Well That Ends Well, Act IV, scene 3’ floating down behind her?
     Renee was recuperating satisfactorily, in the guest room, on the ground floor. The family was in and out of her room, she had not had heard the ‘Bard’ quoted for some time now; when she saw the inky blue Ford Esteem of her principal sweep into the gate. Mrs.Robinson her school’s principal entered accompanied by two more colleauges.
“Renee, you have been absolutely wonderful, so thoughtful of you to send Beth, she’s absolutely fabulous as a teacher, the children just adore her,” she ended dramatically. At Renee’s questioning silence;
Sheila volunteered, “Actually, Elizabeth, where did you hide this friend all these years? She said that you had sent her to tide over the time you till you are on leave.”
Renee stared at them in dismayed silence, her eyes behind the glasses appeared like to giant white marbles dotted with black. Mrs.Robinson stepped back in alarm, “Why, surely Renee, Beth told us that she had taught English all her life, in a Calcutta school ;and she was appalled at the present falling standards. Beth has definitely made a difference. She’s started the dramatic club ‘Shakespearana’ where the children will concentrate only on doing the plays of the great playwright.”
Priti her one friend also chipped in, “Beth has a great film collection, she’s managed to get us a video of the latest ‘Shakespeare in Love’.”  “Isn’t that certified as an adult film,?”
Renee finally managed to croak. “Renee you will never change, of course we didn’t show it to the children. She’s even managed to get a pirated version of  ‘Elizabeth’, after whom she was named”, ended her friend giggling like a high-school girl.
 “Beth’s so energetic, despite her age, I don’t mind employing her permanently,” commented their principal. Renee thought that they would never leave, but after consuming, several samosas, home made cake and coffee, they departed crooning ‘get-well-soon’ softly to her.
  She sat there beaming broadly, “O! The fierce wretchedness that glory brings us. Timon of Athens, Act IV,scene2.”
 What guts, now she had begun invading the downstairs guest room as well. Was there no way of stopping her. Renee stared at her in disbelief, she must have dozed off ,on the recliner, evening was giving way to dusk, the room was enveloped in the lengthening shadows. Renee picked up a large crystal dragon and hurled it in her direction, she heard,
“I hate ingratitude more in a man, than lying, vainness, babbling drunkenness, or any taint of vice whose strong corruption taints our frail blood. Now tell me, where it was said?” taunted her tormentor.
Rage illuminated a fading memory, “Twelfth Night, Act III, scene 2,”she shouted in triumph as her Bhabhi, entered the room in anxiety.
 “What happened,?” as she surveyed the fire-breathing Renee and the broken crystal glass. Her face said it all, now added to her woes   was a deranged sister-in-law.
     Back in her upstairs room, Renee felt she could battle her ghosts alone. Although, this time, even her ever indulgent younger brother had appeared worried and there was talk of inviting their widowed Mausi from Benaras to shift in with her. She had looked sufficiently normal for them to prevent any such further development.
“This was the unkindest cut of all, Julius Caeser, Act III, scene 2.”
 Her heart was bursting with grief, Renee found that this quotation was repeating itself, again and again in her mind, to be branded insane by her own kid brother. All this was thanks to Beth, she had begun spouting long forgotten quotations, almost as if Beth had migrated into her mind as well! She would begin school tomorrow, at least end of Beth there. She was missing the noise and the children of her school. Absence had whetted her appetite for shouting and scolding the hapless youngsters. She would concentrate on grammar and the short stories, about time they finished with all those medieval plays. Unknown to herself she spoke aloud, “I will drop Macbeth, and take up the other recommended reading, ‘Far from the madding crowd’.”
An answer came unasked, “Thou speakest wiser than thou ware of, As You Like It, Act II scene 3.”
Beth floated in majestically, eyes gleaming with battle, Renee was up in a flash, she was prepared for her, a gleaming steel kitchen knife in her hand, she would drive it through Beth’s throat, it would bring back her inner peace. The steel slashed empty space and to her horror was pointing at her own throat.
 “It’s too rash, too unadvis’d, too sudden; Too like lightnening, which doth cease to be. Ere one can say it lightens. Romeo and Juliet, Act II,scene,2,” came the laughing reply.
Renee was  stunned into defeat, she lay paralysed as she watched the amorphous figure merge into her.
“And do as adverseries do in law, Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends. The Taming of the Shrew, Act I scene 2.” Beth spoke inside her head.
    
 “Oh! No, she’s back again,” cried Piyush watching their old English teacher stride down the corridor.
“I will miss Beth ma’m, groaned Smita
She was so friendly and affectionate.”
The students bowed their heads in grief and disappointment. “Good morning children”.
Was it possible, it was the old familiar, ancient gentle voice. The amazed children looked up to observe a smiling Renee, there were traces of Beth ma’m very clearly radiating from her!
*                          *                                *                                     *
The day passed off uneventfully, Renee was feeling rather tired, the decibel level of class eleventh was getting intolerable; despite, Beth’s control of her mind she was able to break free. The astounded class watched as torrents of venom long pent up, come gushing down their, innocent, unsuspecting heads. 
“.........the rest is silence. Hamlet Act V, scene,2,” commented an all-too-familiar voice.
   
Glossary
1.Bhabi…sister-in-law(brother’s wife)
2.Mausi….maternal aunt
3.Bhoothni Bua…..ghostly paternal aunt
4.samosa…..stuffed savoury
words….2,791


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